open your eyes
by spookyscullys
Summary: "So here they are, the legendary married duo, spending what could be their last moments together in a hospital with bad lighting and gross food while they await for Barney's incredibly risky surgery to arrive." /\ Swarkles.


**Open Your Eyes**

.

"Hey," Robin announces as she enters the room. Upon her arrival Barney perks up, positively elated at the sight of his wife.

"Hi." He grins, attempting to rise from the bed in which he is currently sprawled on. "What's that?" His hand points towards the bag in Robin's arm, and she hugs the bag containing the mysterious object closer to her.

"It's a surprise," she states firmly. "For… after." Barney sighs, and she can't help but notice that his breath comes out shakily.

"Robin…"

"No!" She cuts him off rather sharply, causing Barney to flinch. Her conscious immediately kicks in and guilt bubbles up inside of her, but she does not back down. "No. No, you're going to be okay. Okay?" Her voice becomes desperate, and her husband can clearly see that she is trying to not only convince him but also herself of this. "You're going to get the surgery. And you're going to be okay."

Barney nods believably, plastering a smile on his face for Robin's sake. "You're right. You're totally right." He shakes his head, as if even the idea of something going wrong is simply ludicrous. "I'm going to kick this cancer's ass."

Her hands clench into fists at the word 'cancer', like they always do, but they are quick to unclench and fold themselves around her middle as she recalls the time when Barney's cancer was discovered.

Or, as she previously dubbed it, the worst moment of her entire life.

As soon as the cancer diagnosis- Stage IV Melanoma with metastasis on the liver and spleen to be exact- exited the doctor's mouth and lodged itself inside of her brain she was frozen.

She recalls with great despair how her whole world was pulled out from underneath her and replaced with some cruel, vicious joke. How life as she knew it- as _they_ knew it- was suddenly over in one agonizing blink of an eye.

Ironically, he was the one who ended up comforting her on the way home.

So here they are, the legendary married duo, spending what could be their last moments together in a hospital with bad lighting and gross food while they await for Barney's incredibly risky surgery to arrive.

"Yeah," she finally answers him with a false smile of her own as she goes over the list of the possible side effects that could occur as a result of Barney's surgery in her mind.

 _Please just let him live._

* * *

"Hey hey hey!" Lily grins widely as she arrives into Barney's room followed by Marshall, Ted, and Tracy. One look at her face tells Robin that the smile is staged. "How're you holding up?"

 _How do you_ _ **think**_ _I'm holding up the love of my life has cancer and is probably going to die from it if his surgery tomorrow doesn't kill him first_ \- "Good." Lily nods at Robin's response, at a loss for words until Ted finally speaks.

"So when's the surgery scheduled for?" His tone and posture remain casual, but anyone even simply glancing at him can see the terrified look that lays in his brown eyes. Tracy frowns slightly and encircles him with her petite arms as they await Robin's answer.

"Tomorrow morning at eleven," she informs them. Her voice is cracking and she is speaking with little volume, but no one acknowledges this. Instead, they simply smile at Robin and proceed to entertain each other with funny stories and horrible jokes.

And for a brief period of time, it's as if nothing has changed at all.

Soon after they arrive Marshall's stomach begins to growl violently, and he- accompanied by the rest of the group- goes down into the cafeteria to grab some food per Robin's suggestion.

The second the door closes behind them Barney bends over and throws up into the garbage can- which has recently gained the title of his new best friend- possibly triggered by the word 'food'.

"You okay?" Robin inquires, knowing full well that he is in fact the complete opposite of that.

"Please," Barney retorts with a light wave of his hand. "I just have too much awesomeness inside of me. My body can't handle it." Robin chuckles softly- because he _is_ humorous- but swiftly regains her serious expression.

"Are you sure? Because-" She is interrupted, however, by her husband's seemingly convincing words.

"Seriously," he wipes some vomit off of his chin and she knows that he hopes his gesture went unnoticed. "You can go. I'm fine."

Robin honestly considers making her way into the bathroom to wash her face (she has no idea when the last time she took a shower was) but when she walks over to Barney in order to give him a quick hug, another wave of nausea hits him. As he grips onto her shirt while he continues to puke his guts out, she immediately comes to the conclusion that she would not leave his side for all of the money in the world.

Once he is finished Robin shifts in order to avoid the gunk in Barney's hair, but she is quickly informed that her efforts have already gone unsuccessful. "You've got a little…" Barney lets his sentence hang in the air as he makes hand gestures towards Robin. Upon seeing his hands point in the direction of her head, Robin places her finger cautiously into her hair and grimaces when she feels the sadly familiar touch of vomit coat her skin.

"Gross," she jokes, wiping her hand onto a napkin nearby. "Remind me why I love you again?" She's only kidding, but Barney responds with all of the seriousness he can muster (which is not a lot).

"Because I'm awesificent." Robin tilts her head at this.

"Awesificent?"

"Yes, Robin. It's a new word; a combination of awesome and magnificent." He almost looks disgusted by the fact that she is unaware of this new made-up expression. "Kind of like possimpible."

When she laughs, it's like a million puzzle pieces colliding together, and she can't help but think that the earth is extremely lucky to have Barney Stinson walk among it.

(And that she is very lucky to have him).

* * *

She breaks down later that night.

Barney is sleeping, so she steps quietly into the waiting room. Robin sees that the rest of the gang have migrated there also, but at that moment she could care less. As soon as she is in a seated position beside Ted tears cascade swiftly down her face, and she can taste their saltiness from where they land on the corner of her mouth.

"Hey," Ted says, lightly rubbing circles into her back as Tracy does the same to him. "It'll be okay." This only causes Robin to cry harder, and it is not long before she is sobbing profusely.

"It just sucks, you know?" Her face is a shade of crimson red and her eyes most definitely match. "It just sucks!" Ted nods while Lily covers her mouth and silently cries into Marshall's shirt, not wanting Robin to notice her own tears. "I mean, I _finally_ find him. Against _all_ odds, I find my soulmate, or whatever." Robin does not even make a motion to rid her face of tears while she speaks. "Barney, he settles down. He wants to become better. He _does_ become better! And this," she gestures around the room, "is what he gets for it? This is what the universe gives us?" A deep breath escapes her and then more tears. "Isn't that just **crap**? Isn't that just the biggest piece of crap you've ever heard?"

She is crying into Ted's shoulder now, not giving the slightest damn about who sees her.

"Baby?" Tracy whispers to Ted, and he turns his head in order to see his wife. "I'm gonna go sit with Barney. I don't think that he should be alone right now." Ted nods in understanding, as Robin is in no condition to be with her husband at the moment and should not feel guilty for being unstable.

"Okay." He smiles at her and proceeds to give her a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She tells him, and then walks into Barney's room unseen by Robin. Soon after Marshall and Lily leave also, needing to get back to their son.

"We'll be back tomorrow before Barney's surgery." Marshall promises as he leads a still crying Lily out of the door.

Ted looks down at Robin's shaking frame and wills himself not to cry as well. She is certainly doing enough for the both of them. "He's going to die on me." Her voice is raspy from crying, but Ted understands Robin clearly. "I really think he's going to die on me."

And he can only watch as Robin once again loses control. Watch and silently curse out everything that had anything to do with this, because they do not deserve the pain.

* * *

"Hey, Diaper Man." Tracy greets Barney once she notices that he has awoken. He grins slightly at her before his face drops rapidly and he makes a move to sit up.

"Robin?" He asks, and Tracy places a hand on his shoulder.

"She's hanging in there," she assures him. He nods, and they sit in silence for a few more minutes until Tracy breaks it with the question that all of them have been wanting to ask. "And you? How are you doing?"

Maybe it's because he's always felt as if he could talk to Tracy, or that her face just screams trustworthy, but he confides in her immediately.

"I'm okay, I guess. A little sore, yeah. But scared? No." He sighs. "Not for me, anyway."

"For Robin?" Tracy questions, and Barney nods once more.

"I'm scared to die, but not because I'm scared of death." He explains, and Tracy sits soundlessly beside him. "It's because… I'm scared to leave her." Barney says this last part quietly, almost wishing that Tracy will not hear his confession.

She does hear, however, but she is not able to respond as Robin and Ted enter the room promptly following Barney's words.

"We'll see you tomorrow," Tracy promises as she and Ted go to exit through the sliding glass door.

"Thank you." Robin smiles at Tracy, acknowledging what she has done for both her and her husband.

"No problem. Really." Tracy reciprocates the smile as she leaves.

"You alright?" Barney inquires as soon as the door closes.

"Yeah. Oh yeah, I'm fine."

That's what she tells him, anyway, but her words prove to be wrong as soon as Barney closes his eyes and waits for slumber. Robin climbs into bed beside him, and once she believes him to be asleep, she cries into the sheets.

She cries for many things that night.

She cries for the surgery the next morning. For the cancer that is surely killing her husband. For the pain he is going through. For how helpless she feels.

But mostly she cries for Barney's life now, and how undeserving he is of it. He deserves so much more, she concludes, than this.

He deserves the entire world, and she sure as hell wishes she could give it to him.

* * *

They're all beside him as the doctors prep him for surgery. Honestly, there's nowhere else any of them would rather be than with Barney.

"If I don't make it…" He begins to tell them but is hushed by Lily as she places a firm hand on his.

"No, no. You're going to be alright." And because it's Lily and she would never lie to him, he believes her.

"Okay." He is now laying on the gurney, and Robin can spot the slight panic that dances through his eyes.

"Hey, look at me." He complies, and she forces herself to smile reassuringly. "Close your eyes. Just close them, alright? You'll feel better soon."

When he does, the doctors wheel him out of the room. Once the group is unable to follow him anymore, Robin places her head into her hands and lets out a muffled sob. This time, it's Marshall who speaks up.

"I know that you've never believed in miracles, but they exist." He tells her strongly. "They exist, and the universe will send you guys one. I'm sure of it."

Robin is not sure why, but she takes his word for it.

* * *

As soon as two doctors enter the waiting room, Robin rushes over to them, followed by the rest of the gang.

"He's alive, right?" Robin questions hastily as her heart picks up pace. She holds her tears in, not wishing to cry at this time.

"Yes," the doctor confirms, "he's alive." Cheers of relief fly out of each of them, but they are soon silenced. "However, we were not able to get the entire tumor out. I'm sorry." Robin fails to hear what he says next, as she runs as fast as she can towards Barney's room.

She smiles widely when she sees that her husband is awake. "You're alive, you're alive." She engulfs him into a hug and finally allows her tears to fall. "Oh thank god, you're alive."

"Obviously," he grins and Robin lets go of him. "I wasn't going to let a bunch of people cutting into me be my undoing."

Robin laughs despite the situation, and reaches for the bag she had brought in the day prior. "I've got something for you," she tells him, pulling out a beautiful blue tie.

"Flavius!" Barney yells, attempting to grab the garment out of his wife's hands. "How did you-?"

"I felt bad for destroying him last month," she interrupts him. "So I paid your tailor extra to pull a few strings for his favorite customer and repair the tie. Looks like he did a good job." Barney bows his head in agreement.

"I love you so much." He tells her with the largest smile he can manage. Robin grins, grabbing onto Barney and pulling him in for another delicate hug.

"I love you, too." She whispers into his hair. Her arms tighten slightly around him- she doesn't want to hurt him further- and her eyes flutter shut as she inhales his scent.

Suddenly, Robin finds herself grasping desperately onto her husband as he becomes quite heavy in her arms. "Hey," she says, nudging him lightly. His arm falls limply beside her on the bed, and a loud beeping noise fills the room. "Barney." She shakes him harder as she presses the panic button frantically.

"He's not responding!" Robin yells to the group of doctors and nurses who immediately swarm in.

"Code blue!" Shouts one while he pushes Robin away harshly. Lily, Marshall, Ted, and Tracy come running soon after, and watch helplessly outside of the room as Robin breaks down from within.

"Barney!" Robin cries, fighting to keep air in her own lungs. "Don't you dare leave me!" Her fingers tremble uncontrollably as she desperately begs him to stay over and over again.

It seems as if hours pass before a doctor slowly puts the defibrillator down and asks, "Time of death?"

The words engulf Robin quickly, wrapping themselves around her entire body and flashing in front of her face. "No…" She whispers shakily. "No!"

She releases a gut-wrenching scream, laced with anger and pain. The scream echoes loudly off of the walls as Robin begins to sob.

Lily suddenly rushes in quickly, pushing past the group of doctors and sitting down beside her friend. She wraps an arm around Robin and allows her own tears to fall.

"He's gone, Lily. He's really gone!" Robin exhales sharply. "Dammit!"

And she cries harder.

Because he is dead. Her best friend, her husband, her soulmate, is _dead._

( Her happy ending was in front of her all along.

Then suddenly, it wasn't. )

* * *

 **Seven Years Later**

.

The sun gives off a radiant glow as she walks through the grass towards her designated spot. Once she reaches it she sits down, and places a single red rose into the vase in front of her.

"Hey," Robin speaks, twisting her wedding ring around her finger. "I hope that you're still awesomeing it up, you know, up there." She smiles before continuing. "I watched a movie last night. I don't really know what it was about, but the guys in the film all wore suits." She pauses to let out a shaky breath. "So I'm pretty sure that you'd like it."

Robin picks at the grass beside her husband's gravestone as she recounts the events of the day. This is a daily routine for her; making time to visit Barney and simply chatting with him about anything and everything.

"Someone brought lobster into work today." She says quietly. "I guess they didn't know that I'm allergic. It reminded me of you, though. Well, kind of." The wind begins to rustle loudly behind Robin as she continues to explain her day. "I really miss you," she concludes sadly. "A lot. Everyday. All of the time." Her eyes grow red as she gets out the last few words she tells him each visit before leaving. "I love you." And then, "I always will, you know."

Afterwards, she swears the sun shines down on her just a little bit brighter.

* * *

 **A/N: I actually wrote this six months ago, but I am just now posting it. Whoops?**

 **Anyway, the idea came from season five of Grey's Anatomy. Such a heartbreaking season, honestly. I cried in like, every episode, I swear.**

 **I also wrote this because I'm honestly such a medical junkie. I love medicine and hospitals and all of that fun stuff. I got really sad while writing this, though. I can't believe I did what I did at the end. I usually have a hard time writing sad things, but this fic just came to me. Thank Grey's Anatomy for this, I guess. Or if it made you super sad or if you hate the fic, blame Grey's Anatomy. This is that show's fault.**

 **(It's also my love for my favorite ship's fault. Swarkles is the best thing ever I swear to god aHH).**

 **Okay that was long, sorry. Review please? You can yell at me, it's okay. As long as you are not too mean.**


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